Tuesday, January 31, 2012

School has Begun

Weigh in 207.4

I started school yesterday. This week has been so crazy with get ready for school and everything. lol I had my first class of Medical Terminology last night. It was fun. I think this class is going to be alot of fun. It will be tough but fun.  I decided to hold off on Anatomy/Physiology till next semester so that I could focus well on Med. Term.  Today is my free day in the week wich i will be using to study.  Wed. i have my Human Sexuality course. Thursday I have English critical thinking. : )


Here is a recap of the last weeks events:

Today I made corn masa homemade pizzas:
1/4 cup corn masa dough- 110 cals
Tomato sauce 2tsp- 4cals
1/2ounce ground beef- 15cals
Mozzerella Cheese 1/8 ounce- 11cals
total per pizza- 140

Me and Jacquelene(My sissy) played Mancala for the first time in years. It was alot of fun. I also taught her how to play Phase 10. So we had a nice relaxing evening of fun. :)  

Last butnot least My wonderfully all natural Honeycomb. I finally found it a few weeks ago.  I have been eating way to much of it lol. Its so delicous and so good for me. :) If you dont remember how good honey is go check out this!
1 tablespoon of honey has 64 calories, and one tablespoon of sugar has 46 calories.  The difference other than your thinking honey has more calories?  Well honey is gold! Many ancient civilizations even used honey as gold or a form of money.  There are many religous backgrounds that state the healing power of honey.  Islam, Christianity, and more.  The bee so small and insignificant is more important than most people know.
Honeys many benefits:  Cancer prevention, honey has carcinogen-preventing and anti-tumour properties in it.  It is an Immune system builder and all around wellness booster, and boosts metabolism. If you have arthritus you can eat honey and it will reduce joint pain, if you have diabetes you can eat honey and it will actually stabilize your sugar. Honey really does sooth a sore throat and heal cuts and burns. The point? Eat more honey!!!!

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

school school school

weigh in 208.4

Today I am on plan. yesterday I did good and stayed on plan as well. I almost broke last night. My sister was eating late and we were watching TV in my room. Her pasta smelt so good. I chose a hot apple cider instead! : ) Yay for my good decision. The hot cider made me feel full and was in my calorie allotment.  So one of my new hunger busters is hot cider. It works so well and is so yummy. :)

I start school in less than a week. I'm excited but nervous also. as of right now I am taking Pharmacology and Human sexuality.  I am still on a wait list for English 101 and Anatomy/Physiology. We will see what happens. : ) It will be a tough but thrilling semester. :)

thats about it for news today. hope everything is well with everyone.

A couple of quotes for some inspiration (you know i love quotes):

Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time.
Thomas A. Edison

In eating, a third of the stomach should be filled with food, a third with drink and the rest left empty.

Never, never, never quit.
Winston Churchill

Man does not live by bread alone.

The more difficulties one has to encounter, within and without, the more significant and the higher in inspiration his life will be.
Horace Bushnell

You miss 100% of the shots you don't take.
Wayne Gretzky

Hope is like the sun, which, as we journey toward it, casts the shadow of our burden behind us.
Samuel Smiles

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Back to work and school...

weigh in 208.8

Ok holidays and breaks are completely over. Its time to kick it into gear. School is starting again. Today I vow to stay on plan and do my best today.  I have nothing but today so thats my plan.

Over the weekend at my Darling Fiance's I maintained mostly and lost a little. I lost .8 of a pound.  I had an engagement dinner and a pizza dinner as well so that worked out really well. two cheat meals and the rest was on plan. :)  We had a wonderful weekend together.

My sister and I went shopping and I gained a new NSV! I fit into Wet Seals's size 15pants!!! Its amazing because I have never been able to shop at Wet Seal for bottoms!!! Wich means I've reached another mini goal!   I will be posting some pics asap! : ) Have a wonderful day everyone and stay on plan! : )

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

my next goal!

weigh in 209.6

enchanted forest skirt

My month end goal is 199. Not so sure I will make it but Im going to do my best to make it. I still have almost 2weeks left and Im on plan and staying on plan. :) But my next goal with a reward is at 195.  I will be getting two handmade skirts I have been dieing for, for over a year! Im a little obsessed with Etsy and I have always loved these skirts from Loni. Her shop is called love to love you and I do!  There are about 6 skirts that I have made goals for different times. I have decided to get these skirts in twos.  The first two I will be getting is the Enchanted forest and then i cant decide wich other one to get first. So Im still deciding on the second one. I have 14.6lbs to go and then I get to my first set of skirts goal! : )
    Loni is a great designer and creator. She has been so sweet and wonderful through this whole process. I have been updating her on a monthly basis for about 5-6months.  It started out with me telling her that I wanted to make two of her adorable skirts in to mini-goal rewards. I told her how I didnt know what size I would be yet but that I really wanted some of her skirts. She was so delighted to be a part of my goals. Wich was great and refreshing to hear. So we have been writing back and forth for months and now I am so clos and I cant wait!!!! So I have decide that when I get to 195lbs I will be getting to of her skirts as a mini-goal reward. : )  I will be 2.5lbs past 50% to my goal weight! So I think that is a great point to get a reward! : ) It will be 60lbs of loss! 

So here are my goals with Loni's lovely skirts!
  1. 195lbs get two skirts!
  2. 180lbs get two skirts!
  3. 160lbs get two skirts!
  4. 140lbs goal do whatever you want!!! LOL

Here are the other skirts I want as well. I think this is going to be the best part of losing weight. Great Health and Shopping!!! I love buying clothes already and now even more!

Pacman Skirt

I dream of jeannie ruffle skirt

Splatter ruffle skirt

Evergreen Ruffle

Check please ruffle

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

TOM again.....

weigh 209.8

Well I have the good old TOM again. I hate it im all crampy and bloated. Oh and did I mention Im holding on to my weight? Two days at 209.8.  Probably going to be 3-5 days of a stall as usual.  My TOM can get me down and make me blue.  Although I will not let it brak me. I have found it is 10 times harder to stick to plan while on TOM and when I do stick on plan I will not lose anything. But if i go over just a little bit i will gain weight like crazy!!!! So I know that all I need to do is stick to plan and get passed this. God willing I will.

Are any of you going through some tough stuff?

Monday, January 16, 2012

back to work..monday blues


   Today i weighed in at 209.8.  I'm a little blue since i had to leave my fiance. : ( But we had a wonderful weekend. His family threw a very sweet engagement party for us. it was very nice of his mom. : )  So now his mom has started an album and everything. : ) I will be going down there again this weekend and I'm going to try another tactic at staying on plan while I'm there. I am going to bring my scale with me. So that way I am held accountable each day I am there. :)

So before I went on a hiatus, I had said I was going to talk about eating disorders and eating problems. While talking with my future father-in-law I realized there is another huge problem that many overweight people deal. What is it? The sensation of feeling full. I personally dont feel FULL unless I stuff myself and I feel sick and 30min after any meal no matter the size I will be hungry again.  I never feel full or get satisfied completly. I have learned that to feel partly statisfied is normal.  Its normal for me and full is just something i dont get right now. Maybe one day but not right now.  I cant help but wonder, why? Why dont I ever feel full? Why dont many people ever feel satisfied?

  • A mental manifesto for a physical feeling-  Possibly we might feel empty inside. You might feel alone and like you have no one for support. That could be reason for never feeling full.
  • Years of overeating-  For we havent paid much attention to the signals of our bodies.  Our bodies are telling us they are full we just arent listening. So start listening to all the signs that your body starts giving you. I garauntee you will be surprised.
  • Comfort-  Many of us use food as a source of comfort. This is why when on a weightloss journey you should not have goal prizes that are food.  Many of us turn to food like a safety net. Concealing us from the scary outside world.
  • Love of food-  you may love food but it should be an unhealthy relationship. I know I have just started a healthier relationship with food and it has done wonders for so many aspects of why i had so much weight.
Thats about all I can think of. If you can think of anymore let me know! Have a great day everyone!

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

the battle to persist

weigh in 211.4

      So on my vacation once again I didn't do the greatest with plan.  My worst enemy is a vacation when it comes to plan. I try to remember to use all my tools but i Forget or I feel like its OK to indulge. I came back from vacation yesterday at 213.  I left at 210.  So in four days i gained 3lbs. Now I know some of that is water weight but some of that is also my gain. That's not good. I know its not but this is the biggest battle I have right now. Time to tighten the boot straps and keep trudging on. : )

Today I was reading about a person who was finding it hard to accept that forever we will struggle with our weight. We wont be like those normal people who can eat without thinking and they maintain there weight.  If we could we wouldn't be in this predicament.  I know I personally will be counting calories forever now. It will be looser when I get to maintaining but i need that number that I'm allowed. or else i never feel like I've had enough. when something concrete tells me I have what I need to survive for the day for some reason I believe it. I am able to tell myself no more because I have proof that Ive had enough. Through 3fc I have accountability and humility to be honest. Through my blog I have to be honest as well. All of these tools help me and provide a foundation to stay on plan and to be the healthy inside and out I am striving to be. I try not to say wish anymore. I say goal or striving.  If I wish then I can keep wishing for the rest of my life. If I make it a goal or begin striving for it then it means I'm doing it and I have to fight for it. For people like me with a food complex it will always be a struggle. I have found it Is not as much of a struggle as it was 6months ago. but its still a struggle at times. For me right now especially at vacations.  everyone has there battle and for me and anyone like me one of thos battles is with control food intake. Its not a punishment its a management process. I enjoy food and love to cook and I still do all these things. Though, today most often than not I am in control of it. Its about control and happiness. : ) Thats why I do it!

tell me your thoughts and feelings. : )

Friday, January 6, 2012

Eating Disorders- Bulimia

weigh in 209.8

   I weighed in at 209.8 this morning. I am going to Texas today to see my Sister in law and nephews!!! : ) It is going to be so much fun. I cant wait. I definetly need to watch myself while Im there.

        Yesterday we were talking about eating habits. The good, the bad, and the ugly. Today we are going to talk about something that I wont lie, has crossed my mind before. Its bulimia.  There are two definition for bulimia,  abnormally voracious appetite or unnaturally constant hunger.  The second is a habitual disturbance in eating behavior mostly affecting young women of normal weight, characterized by frequent episodes of grossly excessive food intake followed by self induced vomiting to avert from weight gain. This definition is from Dictionary.com. 

Honestly I know Im not the best one to talk about this topic. Im not a proffesional. If you are seeking help /information please take a look at these websites.  Thank you.  I hope these articles I found are informative. I want to touch on it but I am quite uneducated when it comes to this disorder. So I have found some articles from educated and trusted sites.


thank you everyone. Have a great weekend. :)

Be the change you want to see in the world.--Ghandi


Thursday, January 5, 2012

Weird and shameful eating habits.

weigh in 209.8

I had a wonderful Birthday yesterday. I am up a bit from yesterdays weigh in but its ok. I had dinner late and it was a maintain calorie allottment kind of day. My dad took me out for my birthday and it was great. : )
       This morning while I was browsing the 3FC threads I noticed one about eating habits. I thought to myself lol of course we all have these. Then I was reading the responses and realized how abnormal they are and if your an overweight person you probly have a few weird things you do with food. So this will start my next few articles on eating habits. Shameful ones and self control ones. The good the bad and the ugly.

The first one that I could relate to was hiding food.

I know personally I used to hide food. I used to wait till everyone was asleep and then go in the cupboard and grab snacks and sweets I had been pretending not to eat. i didnt do it often but I did it.  I also had stuff stashed around my room.  I remember doing things like stuffing food in my mouth while looking through the fridge and then coming out of the fridge with a yogurt. so everyone just thought i got a yogurt. I could keep going for a while but why do we do these things? Why do we feel we have to hide it? Why do we rebel and who am I rebelling from?

   For me I did it because, I felt I was entitled to it but, I didnt want to hear anyone else telling me I wasnt. Almost every meal I could remember my mom saying jeese thats enough. Im sure it wasnt actually every meal. it just feels that way.  She never cussed me out or anything. My mom was just concerned. and with good reason from the age of about 15-22 i went from 130-255.  wich also coincides with there divorce. hmmm another thing to look at in the future.
        Anyways from about 15 on I would get comments like, "Oh you have such a pretty face." or "You have such pretty eyes."  or another time my grandma told me, "you have such a beautiful personality and face but if you dont get skinny you wont find anyone to love you." Wont say wich grandma. but i dont feel hurt about it today. Those comments made me feel like I didnt want anyone to love me.  "If they cant love me unconditionally then I dont want it."  So i would eat whatever I wanted. I didnt care. I would sneek when I knew someone would say something. I would be up late and sneak it and be very quiet because I knew it wasnt normal to stay up so you could eat. If my mom woke up she would tell me its not normal and unhealthy.  So in alot of ways my weight gain was shield as well. I didnt want to fall in love with someone who would leave me but at the same time I desperately wanted to be loved. Ridiculous. I made some bad choices with the opposite sex and I couldnt accept love.  I convinced myself that I didnt deserve very much wich led to some low lifes in my past.
Some reasons for the feeling to sneak food-
 1. Hurt

2. Guilt

3. Anger

4. Shame

5. Lonely

6. Anxiety

7. Self-hate

8. Disappointment

9. Emptiness

10. Deprivation
I found this list on another blog and I felt it fits perfect. If you would like to take a look at the article i found it in click here.

What Has helped me? How have I begun to overcome?

I dont know if this will help anyone else but if it does then its worth saying. I am in control of myself today and I still have slip ups but for me it doesnt help me when someone else reminds me "you shouldnt eat that cookie" so i have made it clear to my family and close friends that if you see me having a "treat" let me enjoy it.  If you see me "over doing it" feel free to say a comment. but dont pester me because it makes me feel really low and if im binging im already low. I havent binged in a long time. But many of my binges would start out with a look from someone that said "do YOU really need that?" wich would then make me feel entitled so id have alot of it and anything else that i "needed".

My sister has found a great way of being supportive as well as my darling fiance--- This situation goes  kind of like this-

I have a cookie or treat I am eating
My fiance/sis says ooh yum a treat!
If I start to go over board they say a comment like, "Ooh you really saved for this one"
and if im cheating calorie wise I may lie and say I planned it in my calories and didnt but it really snaps me back to where i need to be. And these are things I have ok'd them to say like Ive told them it helped me when you did this....

Ive also found that I need to love myself for who I am. I need to be in control of myself and be responsible for my actions. when I slip up I look at it, admit it, and analyze it for it to benefit me for the next time.

hope this helps. : )

What some ways that you have found help you overcome these feelings of emotional eating?

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

2011 3FC End of the year goal challenge

Weigh in 209.2

Im working on getting back to my pre- new year weight of 207. It is my birthday today so I am going to be having a maintaining day. : )  I just went to go update my end of the year challenge and look what i found out!!! I won the challenge!!! I had the most weightloss in lbs at 33.4lbs lost, and then I had the most percentage in total body weight lost aswell at 13.89%!!!!  I would have never thought I could win something like this! : ) Today is a good day. : ) I also made my December weightloss challenge my goal was to be 209 by December 31st. I was at 207 on December31st. Then New years celebrations came along lol. But i did do it. : )

I am Jessica2231 and for the 3FC End of the year challenge I lost the most in weight and percentage!!!!

I was also a part of the 18% of people who made there December Weightloss challenges.

So now its time to make mini-goals for January!

My goal for Jamuary is to get to Onederland!!! By the end of January I want to be at 199lbs.

If you would like to join the January daily weigh in at 3FC click here.

Here is where I am at today.

Next Mini-Goal to set is to Join the summer bikini weightloss challenge.

Im starting the challenge out at 210.2 from mondays weigh in and my goal for 25weeks is to be at 40lbs loss.   That will be a little of an 18% loss by June 18th.  On this challenge I will weigh in on Mondays. Heres to my summer goal challenge!!!
If you would like to join click here.

Ive joined the challenge

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

After New years... weightloss...


So this morning I weighed in at 210.8.  I was 206 on Friday! Wow! So I got engaged this weekend, had New Years, and my Birthday celebration! I guess really just decided screw it its celebration time. I guess its not that horrible if its every once in a while. But its still not good.  So live and learn. My goals for this month will be to get to Onederland at all costs (Healthily).  So my goal is to get to 199!!! I cant wait it will be amazing!

I have some great photos from Christmas and My Birthday! : )

Lets start the year out right and on plan!

Birthday Celebration

Christmas Pic with my sister

Christmas photo with my sister, mom, and brothers.
 Today's Quote for inspiration:  "Failure is only a fact when you give up. Everyone gets knocked down, the question is: Will you get back up?" --Unkown

"Have you hit a brick wall? Aim higher and jump over it." -- Unknown