Wednesday, January 11, 2012

the battle to persist

weigh in 211.4

      So on my vacation once again I didn't do the greatest with plan.  My worst enemy is a vacation when it comes to plan. I try to remember to use all my tools but i Forget or I feel like its OK to indulge. I came back from vacation yesterday at 213.  I left at 210.  So in four days i gained 3lbs. Now I know some of that is water weight but some of that is also my gain. That's not good. I know its not but this is the biggest battle I have right now. Time to tighten the boot straps and keep trudging on. : )

Today I was reading about a person who was finding it hard to accept that forever we will struggle with our weight. We wont be like those normal people who can eat without thinking and they maintain there weight.  If we could we wouldn't be in this predicament.  I know I personally will be counting calories forever now. It will be looser when I get to maintaining but i need that number that I'm allowed. or else i never feel like I've had enough. when something concrete tells me I have what I need to survive for the day for some reason I believe it. I am able to tell myself no more because I have proof that Ive had enough. Through 3fc I have accountability and humility to be honest. Through my blog I have to be honest as well. All of these tools help me and provide a foundation to stay on plan and to be the healthy inside and out I am striving to be. I try not to say wish anymore. I say goal or striving.  If I wish then I can keep wishing for the rest of my life. If I make it a goal or begin striving for it then it means I'm doing it and I have to fight for it. For people like me with a food complex it will always be a struggle. I have found it Is not as much of a struggle as it was 6months ago. but its still a struggle at times. For me right now especially at vacations.  everyone has there battle and for me and anyone like me one of thos battles is with control food intake. Its not a punishment its a management process. I enjoy food and love to cook and I still do all these things. Though, today most often than not I am in control of it. Its about control and happiness. : ) Thats why I do it!

tell me your thoughts and feelings. : )

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