Friday, December 30, 2011

Second to last day of the year.

weigh in 206!!!

         Wow its almost the new year!  A recap on the year is in store...  Today I weighed in at 206! I cant beleive it really?  I have lost 49lbs and have 66lbs to go. I have lost 43% of my goal weight to lose! I am almost half way there. : )  Ill be starting this new year off with joy and an accomplishment.  Its an ongoing accomplishment but Im now much more confident in anything. I know if I work for something I will get it. I also know that it doesnt take a hollow resolution to do it. It takes alot of work, time, and energy.  it takes sacrifices and determination as well. I think the best lesson I have learned this year is that when I mess up, get right back on. : )
My Goals acheived to date:
Just reached two more mini goals. : )
  1. Lose 45lbs- 12/28/11
  2. Lose 40% of goal weight(46lbs)-12/29/11
I have also surpassed my monthly goal to get to 209. I am now 206! : )

Current weight and monthly goal.

This has been such a tough but great year. I am strong and can depend on myself. : )  I know I can take care of myself and that I can do anything if I am willing to work for it. Or as they say in group, "If you really want something, you'll go to the ends of the world to get it"  And thats what im working on. I have my low points where I feel like Im not sure I can go on. Then I just look at my first ticker and think wow. I have come so far already look at all I have done.  This attitude and habit I have built into my eating practices is spilling over into all aspects of my life.  I try to see what I can in a positive light. I also do my best to take action to fix things and work at them.  I make the best decisions I can make for me today.  I am the only one who can change me so I had to start somewhere.
My new favorite quote:
"You must be the change you want to see in the world."
Mahatma Gandhi


Thursday, December 29, 2011

morning all


So I dont know if my weigh in will stick but it would be cool if it did. : ) 

I was on plan yesterday and I am on plan today. Lets do a recap, What does on plan mean for me? On plan for me means that I am sticking to my daily Calorie count. I dont go over and Im not to far under.   How do I get my calorie allottment? I get it with a calorie calculator. My favorite one is here.  Here is also my favorite website to track my calories.  Its called Loseit and you can do it online or through an app on your smartphone.

We are all here after the holidays and were trying So keep trying. Dont let your holiday failure become a life failure. Allow it to be a lesson.

Have a great day!

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

to long...

weigh in 209.8

  Goodmorning everyone. Wow it has been a long time since I have written. So much has happened.  I got in an accident. (fender bender)  My back is pretty messed up and I have been going to the Chiropractor.  I had a pretty ok Christmas. I wasnt able to participate in everything due to my back but all in all it was good. I took a holiday from being on plan. Wich wasnt planned. Through Christmas I kind of lost most of my self control. I didnt do horrible but i didnt do good either.  I was 208.6 before my days off and after Christmas coming back yesterday I weighed in at 210.8.  Today I am at 209.8.  Hopefully I will make it to my goal of 209 by Dec 21st.  I am on plan again since yesterday.  I am finding it difficult to stay on plan and I remember this from the last time I fell off plan. It is very hard to stick to plan the first few days to the first week and then after taht its clock work again. As long as I stay aware of it. I plan on taking some more pics at 199. Wow 9.8lbs from Onederland! So crazy. 
     So about my Holiday cheats. I have no one to blame but myself. I have so many tools from my blog to my phone apps.  I personally chose to go without them and allowed my self control to go by the wayside. It was like a small haze of not looking at the toolbox that I had in my back pocket but the haze is gone and Im back roaring. I could definetly get sad and disgruntled about it but, why? Will that help? No its only going to cause me to feel bad and cheat more. Im not perfect and I dont claim to be. So I am going to own up to my actions and keep chugging along.

Some tools I have to remember to use from now on:
  1. Baby steps
  2. Holiday tips
  3. Weightloss does not equal entitlement

I have to remember to take my own advice.  I hope all is well! Thank you. : )
Dont forget to subscribe.

Friday, December 16, 2011

Finals are over!!! Stress over!

Weighed in at 211.0

   Wow! It has been a week since I have written.  Finals are over as of yesterday and I just finished my Chemistry Paper. Now I just have to wait until SafeAssign allows me to submit it.
      I have been mostly on plan. With a bit of an overage on mon and tues. Finals have been really stressful but ive made it through.

So since were talking about stress. How does stress effect health and weightloss?  This couldnt have said it better! So today Ill let his words be heard! to get more from the mayoclinic click here.
  • How do I control stress-induced weight gain?


    from Edward T. Creagan, M.D.
    When you're under stress, you may find it harder to eat healthy. Also, during times of particularly high stress, you may eat in an attempt to fulfill emotional needs — sometimes called stress eating or emotional eating. And you may be especially likely to eat high-calorie foods during times of stress, even when you're not hungry.
    To prevent weight gain during stress and reduce the risk of obesity, get a handle on your stress. When you feel less stressed and more in control of your life, you may find it easier to stick to healthy eating and exercise habits.
    Try these stress management techniques to combat stress-related weight gain:
    • Recognize the warning signs of stress, such as anxiety, irritability and muscle tension.
    • Before eating, ask yourself why you're eating — are you truly hungry or do you feel stressed or anxious?
    • If you're tempted to eat when you're not hungry, find a distraction.
    • Don't skip meals, especially breakfast.
    • Identify comfort foods and keep them out of your home or office.
    • Keep a record of your behavior and eating habits so that you can look for patterns and connections — and then figure out how to overcome them.
    • Learn problem-solving skills so that you can anticipate challenges and cope with setbacks.
    • Practice relaxation skills, such as yoga, massage or meditation.
    • Engage in regular physical activity or exercise.
    • Get adequate sleep.
    • Get encouragement from supportive friends and family.
    If you try stress management techniques on your own but they don't seem to be working, consider seeking professional help through psychotherapy or counseling.

^^This guy is good Tuesdays overage was caused by emotional eating most definetly. I had a starbucks and starbucks sandwich. Wich makes me feel cozy inside. But its fleeting.... So i take it as a learning experience.

Its funny to think about this list seriously. I look at it think of that Clear eyes guy in his monotone voice and think blah blah blah!!! but its so true!!!  Emotional eating is the downfall for most of us!
  • we are happy = we eat
  • we are sad= we eat
  • we get lonely= we eat
  • we get good new= lets out to lunch and eat!
Same old story! Sit down and think about it! how do you celebrate? With food in some way? These are things we need to change in order to lead a healthy life.  If your sitting like me all "Big Boned" 9 times out of 10 we have an eating problem. Cuz "naturally skinny people" dont have a problem!

So go scroll back up and read it again. ^^^^ I did 3 times! let it sink in. : )

Have a great weekend! Celebrate your life in a new way!
You know I love you all!

Friday, December 9, 2011

Vitamins= better health

weighed in at 212.4!!!

  I honestly don't quite believe my eyes. We are only 9 days into the month and I've lost 3lbs already! Quite happy with that. Hopefully it will allow me a healthy little cushion for Christmas. All is well. I will be going to my Darling BF's house this weekend. Although I will be studying the entire flipping time its OK Ill get to see him. : ) I haven't posted much this week due to finals and next week will probably be even more barren. After that we will be back and running! Hope all is well!

Vitamins = Better Health
    So the reason why your continuously hearing, "You must have a balanced healthy diet!", its because you need all your essential vitamins.  Vitamins are the little workers in your body that help keep things going. Vitamins give your body energy and focus.   Yes it is best to get our vitamins from our food. Unfortunately because of over used soil most over our fruits and veggies don't contain the amount of vitamins we need. We really do need that much that's why its a good idea to take some supplements. It wont hurt but it will guarantee you got all your vitamins for the day.
        On one hand you may be thinking eh Ive done without them all this time. Sure you have because how you feel is whats your reality(your normal).  I have felt the same way for years.  I started taking a few vitamins a day in just the past 2 weeks. I have already seen and felt a major difference!!!  I am able to focus better at work and school. I am sleeping better through the night and I am actually waking up with energy! Try it out it cant hurt, can it? 
     Why I haven't tried it till now? I couldn't afford it! Vitamins are expensive! BUT BUT BUT! I found a wonderful little deal that will cost you $5.00 every two weeks! Walmart now has an end cap with vitamins for $0.88 each. They come with 15 capsules each which is enough for two weeks and one day. So now you have no excuses except maybe which one should i get? Well here's an example of what I use.

  • Women's once daily-  This is a great one stop shop.  Take a Women's once a day supplement. Or Men's once a day supplement depending on your gender. This will knock out what the average person needs in a day.  Then if you feel like you need some other vitamins check them out.
  • B-12- I also like to take vitamins B-12. This vitamin promotes focus and energy. Your body has more energy with this little guy. Your brain can more easily focus as well.
  • B Complex- I found this great article click on here for more info. Vitamin B's are need for almost every bodily function performed daily. Do you really want to be low on that?
  • Vitamin C- Is known as the healthy immune system promoter, it is full of antioxidents, and is an antihisthimine. For more click here.
  • Vitamin E- I like to take vitamin E because it promotes skin health and softness. Your body needs very little in order to use vitamin E fully and its great when you start to see the results!
  • Fish Oils- are suggested to improve many things i.e: mental health, anxiety, depression, and more. if you would like more info take a look at this article. here.
Hope this is inciteful! Have a wonderful day! Dont forget to subscribe. : )

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Weightloss Does Not Equal Entitlement

weigh in 213.2!

  Omg! I am almost out of the 220's I'm so much closer to Onederland its insane. I cant even believe I have made it this far.  Although I have the sweat, tears, and stories to show for it.  its crazy to think I am almost to the 210's.  Although I know for me I need to stay focused. I can celebrate for a few moments and be excited. But if I celebrate to much then I end up ruining the  celebration.  I know it seems harsh but its just something Ive learned about myself. I cant celebrate to much or else I begin to celebrate with food.  Then I am gaining and not losing. I am proud but not prideful.  If I am prideful than I begin to not be able to stick to my plan and I maintain then I begin to gain. Or I start to yo yo. So the point?

Weight loss Does NOT = ENTITLEMENT!

  • This banter might sound a little harsh. So if you cant handle harsh today isn't a day to read my article. I'm so passionate and blunt about this topic because this is what hinders me.  This is why I begin to feel complacent and prideful and then get stuck or balloon up. So here we go.  You think that because you lost 5lbs you can have a cookie? Sure have a cookie but count the calories and don't leave it out. Its still a treat if its counted. You wouldn't usually be eating the cookie, slice of pizza, or piece of pie.  But be ready to pay the consequences. And eat one cookie not the ENTIRE box!  Your not entitled to gaining the 5lbs back! You haven't done all that work to erase it have you?  If so, then why do it in the first place? Yes go quit. Come back when your ready! If your ready lets do this. I constantly tell myself this when I start to slip up.  "Jessica! Do you really want this? Then, Why are you hurting yourself?"  I ask myself these things and then I answer them.  If you really want this then don't punish yourself!  Be an Advocate for yourself! The TRUTH is your ENTITLED to STRENGTH!!! You are entitled to willpower and strength! So do things that will strengthen you mind body and soul. : )

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

weigh in 213.6

  Morning all had a great weekend. Hope you did as well. I practiced my baby steps, my will power, and consistently remembered the goals i have already accomplished! Oh and I planned out my plan for the weekend!  Had a very busy weekend. I got oto see my darling BF and we had a couple dates and he gave me some beautiful flowers! : )  So far December hasnt been to difficult but it is going to get that way. In a week or two is when all the Christmas and Holiday parties begin. I have to start using all of the tools I used over the weekend religously!  Also another tip: Dont watch Diners, Drive-ins and Dives when flipping hungry!!! Its just not smart! I love that show but it makes me so hungry. Also it makes me want greasy deep fat fried stuff! Ok well just checking in will be updating again tomorrow. Have a great day.

Flowers from my darling BF!

Friday, December 2, 2011

Planning Your Weightloss Program

Good morning,
weigh in 214.8! .2 down from yesterday. : )

I'm doing great! My darling BF will be here soon! I cant wait! We will be spending the weekend together. : )

My weight loss buddy brought me to a stunning conclusion today of why planning is so important.  Why so many of us say, "I'm just the type who cant lose." or why we yo yo.  SO, today is all about why planning is so huge in your weight loss journey!

Why planning your weight loss plan works.
  • Calories in vs. Calories out- It really doesn't matter which diet you choose. It all boils down to your calories. Calories are a unit of measure measure the energy our bodies burn. It varies from person to person. If you plan out your calories you know where to draw you lines and you can tweak it from there. You want to create a deficit which will make your body it its store energy i.e.(fat).  Every ones deficit is different so if you would like to know your plug it into the cal calculator.  My calories are at 1567cals a day with a deficit of 1000cals a day. which should even out to 2lbs. a week. Here is about how much i can eat.
    • For example, lets say your eating 1400 cals/day.
      • you can have a fast food burger and fries and there goes all your calories
        • Big Mac- 540cals
        • Large French Fries- 500cals
        • Large Coke- 150 cals
        • total: 1190
        • you just spent just about all your cals on one meal that will keep you overly stuffed for 2-3 hrs and then you will be hungry again.  And ultimately will most likely end up binging.
      • Or you can have a varied day like this-
        • breakfast-
          • oatmeal serving-160cal
          • cup of strawberries-46cals
        • snacks-
          • healthy pop single serve-180cals
        • lunch-
          • Lean cuisine bake chicken-310 cals
        • snack-
          • brie cheese 2 tablespoons- 90cals
          • wafer crackers 10pcs-66cals
        • dinner-
          • 3oz beef-184
          • 1/2 rice-83cals
          • a-1 sauce 1 tablespoon- 15cals
          • soy sauce 2 tablespoons-20cals
        • snack
          • fiber one chocolate bar-140cals
        • snack
          • Apple- 105cals
        • grand total: A whopping: 1399cals 
        • This is basically my plan for today.
  • Plan your day in the morning
    • If you plan your day in the morning according to your habits then you have a better chance for success. For example, I like to snack so I leave room for plenty of snacking. After a while your plan will become habit to what you can or cant eat or what you want to squeeze in and how to work around it. For example, when I know I will eat out I eat lots of veggies because they are filling and low in calories as well as making sure I get fiber because, fiber is also low in calories and keeps you fuller longer.
  • Tracking-
    • Keep track of what you've done. What works for you? What doesn't work so well? We are all different so all of us have a different comfort zone.  So find yours and you will be set.
      • If you don't want to do the old fashioned pen to paper journal try out one of these free sites:
        • Fit Day
        • Lose it!- (I use this app on my phone. You can use it on the web or in an app)

  • If you plan and track your day, you will have your guidelines. The line will no longer be blurry and you will what and what not to do. You will also learn yourself and learn how to make it work for you.  Remember planning, support, and bit of will power is all you need. OH! and... ACTION! So put it it into action!

  • Thought of something else that seems to hang me up sometimes and I think my weight loss buddy is feeling the same way today. So I hope it helps. An idea nothing more. : )

  • She has 1200-1400 cals a day.  Lets go with 1400 for today since she will be eating out for dinner with her family today.   If my calorie budget was 1400 cals this is what my day would look like when I want to eat like normal but save as many cals as possible for dinner.
    1. Where are you going? How many calories do you want to save?
      • Lets say I want to save 900 cals for dinner (it can be done)
    2. How many cals do I have for the day?
      • I have 500cals before i go to dinner
    3. This could be tough but lets make it more attainable
      1. We are going to treat this day like a snack day. Tiny meals but plenty of them. The goal is 5 small meals till dinner so lets say its 10hrs till dinner eat every 2hrs. 15hrs then eat every 2.5hrs.
      • breakfast- oatmeal single serving-150cals
        • oatmeal is high in fiber and will keep you full for 3-5hrs
      • snack-banana 7inches- 105cals
        • also high in fiber and will keep you full with low cal
      • snack-1 cups of strawberries- 45cals
        • sweet and tasty and low in cals
      • lunch-
        • laughing cow cheese wedge- 35cals
        • wafer crackers5- 33cals
        • 10 baby carrots- 35cals 
      • snack-
        •  10 4" celery sticks -6cals
        • 1 tablespoon peanut butter-94cals 
      • Total: 503cals
    4. When you go to the restaurant be happy you earned it! remeber to stick to your 900 cals. Dont be afraid to ask for a nutrional menu. : )

How do you put it into action? tell us your thoughts.
Dont forget to subscribe and share us on FB and Twitter!

Have a great Weekend!

Thursday, December 1, 2011

Another Mini Goal Acheived!

weigh in 215!

I finally did it I have reached my mini goal of 40lbs lost! 12/01/11 I have another acheivement to mark off my list! : ) I started this journey with 115lbs. to lose. I now have 75lbs to lose.  Now looking at the number 75 is still a headache but, looking at my goal for december being 209 from 215. that seems so much more doable and I will be taking it one day at a time.  So cheers to December and the holidays. Lets pull our boot straps up and take this head on!

So never forget mini-goals really are KEY! 

Have a great day!

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

November 2011 Roundup


11/1- 219!!! eek 2lbs up from yesterday. (AARRGGH me on Halloween)
11/3-218 woo hoo a pound down!
11/7-217.6 wth?
11/11-215.8!! Woohoo! I hope this is real!
11/12-I didn’t gdo good and didn’t weigh in
11/13-I did horrible and didn’t weigh in : (
11/14-back on plan but not weighing in till friday
11/15-no weigh in
11/16-217.5 (couldn’t take it need to face upto my cheating)
11/19-in Bakersfield no weigh in
11/20-in Bakersfield no weigh in
11/24-didn’t weigh. In San Fran
11/25- didn’t weigh. In San Fran
11/26- didn’t weigh. In San Fran
11/27- 215.2n OMG Lost a tid bit but maintained over the holiday!!!!!!
11/29-216 some pay back from thanksgiving I think lol.

Didnt make it to my goal and sometimes i think that I shoot to high. But either way Im proud of myself at the end of each month!

A round up for this month. This month I realized quite a few things about myself. At the end of each month Ive decided that I will be reflecting on the past month. I find that I learn something and then forget to use it. So I like to reflect at the end of the month as a reminder. My top 3 breakthroughs for this month are:
  • Fear of losing weight-
    •  In September I got to 223. When i got there I realized I was Actually losing!  From as far as I can remember I knew I was the "chubby one" and that I needed to lose weight. I knew it was unhealthy but it also brought down my self esteem. I remember in middle school being 140 in 6th grade then i started not paying attention.  I remember lying about my weight but 223lb is the last weight I remembered being for sure. When I first weighed myself at 255, I knew there needed to be a change for sure! So from 255-224 I was doing something that needed to get me back to the norm wich was so easy. When I hit 223 I felt normal for me again. When I got to 219 I felt like I was having a mini meltdown. I was actually 'Doing This' and sticking to it. I got scared because I have wanted to be healthy and be skinny my whole life. Crazy fears were creeping up in the back of my mind. If I do this I wont have my excuses? What if Im not happy at the end? and the list goes on... For 7weeks I was stuck at 216-219. During the week I was on plan and on the weekends I sabbotaged myself. When I finally realized what I was doing I faced it and am still facing. I am finally seeing differences in the mirror and am happy with them. I understand that weightloss doesnt mean perfection.  Also I have learned that through this journey I am not only working on my apearence I am now on a mental and spiritual journey as well.  Although it took me 7 weeks to realize. I am so thankful and blessed to have realized it. I didnt go into self destruct and now Im facing it head on.
  • Weekend/Vacation Dieting-
    • I also learned about my self sabotage.  My weekends became my day for I deserve this Flippin "cookie"!  This what made me yoyo from 216-219 for 7 weeks.  I learned that I am in control and I have to make the choice to stick to plan. Also that for me hunger is a daily struggle and its a deeper problem. Im not hungry for food its something else. Now Im working on finding what that hunger is until then I must control it. I need to truly listen to wether I am hungry or bored or lacking something else. Also I find joy in the tastes of all types of foods. I love trying new things. If I want to taste and try new things, well I can.  I just cant have everything. So now I have a deeper understanding of the fact that this is all under my control and when I self sabatage, thats exactly what im doing! Im harming myself!
  • Why me?-
    • Along with my self sabatage and fears of losing, I also had a why me complex going on. Thinking to myself my sister is skinny no matter what. Why not me? Why are there "naturally skinny people"? Why arent I one of them? Well because I overeat and they dont! Or they excercize daily and I dont. Or they eat healthy "naturally".  I was on a pitty me party type thing. 1. They are naturally skinny cuz they either dont eat as much or burn more! 2. Everyone has problems at least mine is one I can fix. 3. Poor me!? I did this to myself!  So Im kind of reawakened after 6months in my journey and it feels great! I have a feeling it will happen again and then I will learn something else about myself.
I am so thankful for all I have learned so far about myself and many of us alike. Thank you for being on this journey with me!

Dont forgot to subscribe and follow our blog and to let me know what you reflected on this month!

Fruits and veggies in winter.

weigh in 215.2

Today I am back to 215.2. : ) Im pretty sure I will be stalling for the next 3-5days due to TOM.  So here we go with sticking to plan and not seeing an results. Im ready. let do this!  Yesterday I was pretty much on plan I went a little over by 70cals. I had a mini cupcake. It was delicous. : )

I find it very hard to eat any Fruits and Veggies in the winter.  I am a firm beleiver in listening to my bodies instincts... well some of them, but I am a firm beleiver in eating with the seasons. Scientifically or spiritually it seems that fruits and veggies have seasons for a reason.  For example, try finding a watermelon. You pretty much cant. Well, maybe Jamaica can but they can just zip the lip. Cuz there already in Jamaica why make us even more jealous?  Any who, I wanted to figure out wich veggies and fruits are in season. I want to go looking for them see if I crave them. : ) It should be interesting.

Winter Fruits and Veggies.

Acorn Squash
Butternut Squash
Sweet Potatoes
Swiss Chard

Here is a great nutritional fact website that helps me when trying to decipher between what the heck a Parsnip is or a British Endive. Click here.

Heres another link with some of my favorite reasons to even eat fruits and veggies. click here. Why should we eat them? What benefits do they have?

MMMMmm! Im already craving artichokes and Butternut Squash!

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Holidays and Diets and Agave Nectar Sticks

216 (thanksgiving getting some of its vengeance out on me)

Morning everyone had a great evening at school. : ) My teacher forgot to put his notes up on our website so it was a movie night! So I took a nap! lol : )
       I also weighed in at 216 this morning. I think it is 1 or all of 3 things. I am getting some payback from thanksgiving, Im getting ready to stall for end of TOM (on TOM now), and/or its because of the little tiny amount of water i drank the last 2 days. HMMM. Well we will jus have to watch all three. : ) I hope everyone is doing well and on there plan.

Click here if you would like to try the Agave Nectar I ordered. (I also want to say I have no benefit other than helping sharing this site. I dont get paid for it. I just want to share my experiences. Thank you! <3)

So I call today's article Holidays and diets because they are so opposite. For most Americans and Ive heard from international friends, the holidays are a festive time to get away with stuffing yourself basically.  We overeat constantly on the holidays. There are to many parties to count and so many actual holidays. Oh and God forbid you have divorced parents are married and you spouse has divorced parents. Imagine food from four Christmas's?!?!?! I would collapse.
Ive decided to order some Agave Sticks from Amazon. (I found honey sticks and Agave sticks cheepest on Amazon)  I have a ordered a few different flavors and there are so sweet and delicous. They are quite honestly going to be my weapon here pretty soon.  My weapon from sweets. I will have my Agave sticks with me at family functions and can have this instead of overundulging on sweets.

Now for the Benefits of Agave! You didnt think I was going to eat them just because, did you?

One of the biggest benefits is the sweet taste! Agave nectar is a sweetener like granulated sugar or honey. Although it has a low glycemic index.  This would benefit anyone trying to lose weight or with diabetes. It also helps maintain. Agave is made up of the same sugars that are in our fruits naturally, therefore our bodies can breakdown Agave with no problem at all.  When Agave sugars enter our body they are digested immediately! Just as fruts and veggies are.  This wonderful because this surgar doesnt get stored!
This powerful Nectar can also be used as a sugar substitute! Start switching it out for you sugar.

Ill be using the Agave sticks to fight off cravings and have as treats!  : )

Let me know how your all doin and what you thought of the article. Dont forget to subscribe and follow me. : )

!~Have a great day~!

Monday, November 28, 2011

The Aftermath of Thanksgiving.

weigh in 215.2!

Reached another Mini-Goal

Well I stuck to alot of my rules. So many reminders and I used them as tools. I did my best to "stay at plan" with occasional grazing.  According to the scale and my counting because i counted even when grazing. I know i went over by a bit each day and by like 500 cals on thanksgiving. All in all I did great! I maintained and still managed to lose .8 of a lb. : ) So I am quite proud of myself. this almost marks 40lbs lost i have .2 left to lose till 40lbs. Oh and this mark another mini goal of getting through a vacation/holiday without gaining! So get to update that.  Im so excited  as well because I got to share LoseIt with some of my family members!!! MY whole reasoning for this blog is to hopefully help someone like me. I hope to give information that someone else was lacking and its information I was lacking for so long!  It was a wonderful weekend with my family. I broke through some great goals and gained confidence as well as got to spend time with my wonderful loving family. : )

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Diet and Holidays

weigh in at 215.4

Goodmorning everyone. I weighed in this morning at 215.4.  Had a great night sleep and back to work.  I also found out last night that tonight I will be going to Santa Rosa, CA. SO excited to see my family!  Its an hour outside of San Francisco. So excited to have a nice little mini-vacation.  Thanksgiving will be wonderful. Just have to remember to stick to plan! I will be reading and rereading all my articles on wekeend diet tips, 25 tips to a healthier you, and Sticking to Plan.  I must also remember that when I start to lose control it is because of my fears of losing.  If I read these four articles throughout this holiday weekend then I know I can hold on for just a few more days.  I know you can to.

Tips for Sticking to Plan on a Holiday.

RUN RUN RUN!!!!!----hahahah jk.

  1. Be aware- The holidays are a huge time for over indulging and emotional eating. Everything about the holidays bring back memories from childhood and a time of more simplicity. Be aware of it and you can fight it. Know that you dont have to eat the pies or the cookies. Have a "taste" and dont over indulge.  Keep you plan on your mind at all times!
  2. Make a plan- If you do plan to join in on festivities. Thats great although its a tough line to balance. You can do it. You must plan for it though. Count Count Count. Your counting doesnt stop because its a holiday. In fact you should be more ferocious and make sure you dont go over plan.   On holidays if you go over plan you are more likely to go WAY over your plan. So keep an OCD type count and stick to it like a fly sticks to fly paper.
  3. Dont let pushers be pushy- You had your choice holiday snack and then little Ms. Suzie skinny homemaker comes in with a tray of fresh baked goodies. She comes to you and insists you have a treat. "Please have one, Oh, please have one!" If needed its ok to push back! Shes being pushy so kindly tell her no and if she persist you can push back. Sure shes doing something kind but you politely said no. Most likely if were to nice about it. Shes not going away. Tell her NO!  If you dont feel like you can push back kindly take one and say, "I'll take one and save it for later. Thank you." Then you can give it to someone else or throw it out. Just dont eat it if its off plan!
  4. Offending the cook-  Alot of people over eat on holidays because they dont want to hurt anyones feelings. If you dont feel your strong enough to join in on the festivities. Just letting the people around you know what is going on inside of you will releive alot of the tension. Most people know how hard it is to be on a diet or to restrict themselves. So most people understand.
  5. To thine own self be true- Remember at the end of the day, your doing this for you.  If your not sticking to it your only hurting yourself.  Stay true to yourself and stay in reality with your self. Just because its thanksgiving doesnt mean everything magically has no calories. Stay true to yourself. : )

Alrighty any questions? Send them my way!
Any comments? Id love to see 'em.

Santa Rosa or bust baby!
Happy Thanksgiving!

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

25 tips to a healthier you!

weigh in 215.4

  Morning all! Hope al is well. I struggled to stay on plan last night but I did it! Im back at 215.4 and I have a feeling tomorrow is going to be a true loss. I also was passed down some great tips on how to keep it going. One of my weightloss buddies sent it to me today. 25 Tips to a Healthier You! Take a look at it and lets all thank James! Thank you James!

Monday, November 21, 2011

Stuck to plan... almost.

weigh in 216.8

So I stuck to plan all weekend except dinner last night!  Although I wish I would have stuck completly to plan Im extatic I finally did this good. Time to stick to plan for another wonderful week. : ) Thank you all for your support. Hopefully by the end of the week I will be at 213-214 : ) cant wait!

Friday, November 18, 2011

Weekend Diet Plan Tips

weigh in 216

      So Im back at 216 again...  This weekend I will be heading up to my BF's where they have some really delicous arabic dishes that are made for each meal. Breakfast and dinner are the most difficult such delicous meals.  Although if I ever want to get past 216 I need to get back to sticking to my plan on the weekends to. So Here we go.

Weekend Diet Plan Tips. 

  • Dont put off your meals-  On the weekends I find I fall off plan the most when I put off my meals till later.  I stall and think if I dont eat for anither hour or two I can eat dinner later. Wich innevitably makes my hunger rise and anything I smell when others start cooking, well I want it.  It is much harder to say no to food when your really hungry and not on your usual schedule.  So try to stick to your usual schedule as much as possible.
  • You dont have to eat with everyone else-  I find myself trying to be polite and eating with my BF's family. I cant do that anymore. If Im hungry before they are then Im eating from now on. Just as before if Im busy worrying about being polite then Im gonna end up being much hungrier. Ive made my metabolism fast therefore it can get ravenous and eating a salad for dinner while watching others eat delicous junk really isnt satisfying. So if I am going to get healthy and fight this obesity and my risks for disease then I need to think about me first.
  • Keep your healthy snacks close-  This one seems like a duh, "Uh hello? The kitchens in my house its close... whats ur point?"  My point is the kitchen can be far.  Something that I do at my BF's hosue where I find most of my temptations come up. I carry my snack with me.  I carry a fruit or some sort of snack with me in my pocket or in my hand at all times. If someone brings out cake or something to munch on and I really want to snack to then I take what already in my hand. It may seem weird but who cares if it works and is healthy, right?  I alos carry a serving of nuts and a granola bar in my purse. If we're at a store and someone decides to grab a bite of something. Thats all well and dandy cuz I have my snacks to. : )
  • Water- I dont know how I can get across how Important it is.  Water may not have actual nutrition or calories but, our bodies need it to do anything!  We need it to difest to breathe to have our blood flow through us. EVERYTHING!  The more water we have the more satisfied our body is.  The less likely you will get those annoying fictitous hunger paings. Go read all about what actually happens with your hunger when you dont drink enough water here.
  • Excercize- When work hard are you proud of yourself?  Its the same with excercizing. You are much less likely to cheat after you have worked out. Why would you want to ruin what you worked for?
  • Journal- WRITE WRITE WRITE!!!!!! Keep track of everything! You will stay on plan much more successfully if your constently looking at the amouunt of your intake and you will plan for spreading out your calories for the day.
  • Be aware-  Know that you are on a diet. You are the one who is losing and you need to have will power.  Everyone around you IS able to do whatever they want. They arent trying to lose they arent on this journey. YOU ARE. So be your own strength aswell find your own little techiniques to keep yourself on plan.
Let me know what you come up with. : )

Also if you have anything you want me to write about and answer let me know.

Thank you. Have a great weekend.


Thursday, November 17, 2011

Sticking to a weightloss plan.

10 Great Steps to Sticking to it!

  1. Having Support- Support is key in many respects.  When you are feeling down or are feeling as if nothing is working. Confiding in someone can help tremendously. Get yourself a fitness buddy or support buddy. This person is to be there for you whine and carry on with. This person is there to help you keep on track. Most of all this person is there so you can run and tell them all your triumphs!
  2. Keep up your guard- Your environment is yours to mold.  Dont keep snacks that will break your plan around you.  Why would you want to stare at a choclate bar and not eat it?  Keep up your guard and knowingly guard yourself from things like this in your environment. Also remember that not everyone around you is on a diet. Do your best to go into every social situation with a plan.  Your not going to have the indulgences that everyone else gets to have. They are maintaining and you are losing but, dont be so sad if you stick to it. You will be there soon enough as well. : )
  3. Actually plan your plan out- Have a plan! That may sound like a duh should have followed that sentence.  Lets go ahead and think back at all of our failed diets... ok did you have a well thought out plan? did you have the details on pape? did you forget you were dieting alot of the time?
  4. Water-  Water is so important.  Did you know?  That many times when we think we are hungry we are actually thirsty! The average person should be drinking 6-8 8oz. glasses of water a day or 4 bottles of water a day. On top of that any liquid that is ingested other than water should be matched with the same amount in water. So for example: You have had 4 bottles of water today but, you also had 8oz of coffee, 8 oz, of orange juice, and 8 oz. of coke. So that means you still need to drink 24oz. more of water before the day is out. With all that liquid in you, who has the room to over eat? hmmm we might have a point here?
  5. Journal- A plan isnt a plan without it being on paper. When you write out your personal plan there is now something concrete and physical you can feel and touch. You now have a reference to what your plan actually is. You can also track your progress now.
  6. Goals-  Every plan should have goals! Not only goals but mini goals.  Here are some of my goals.  Mini goals are the best because you acheive them much more than your overall goal.  These mini goals will keep you going and allow you to go one baby step at a time.  We can get overwhelmed by the end result so its best to cut your journey into tiny little chunks.
  7. Rewards- Reward yourself. Maybe not every mini goal but like every other mini goal give yourself some rewards.  Many suggest you dont use food as a goal.  For me I charecterize a few instances as ok for food rewards. I.E: there was a new French restauraunt I have been dieing to goto. So i made it a reward. : )  Otherwise clothes or outings are great rewards.  Especially clothes because if were doing our plan right were going to need alot of new clothes! : )
  8. Customize your plan to fit you- We are all different. Some people can say to them selves i will not have any choclate till i reach goal. Then they can do it. For me I cant deprive myself of things or else I go crazy. I allow fro portion control. Then others may need portion control for sweets but can cut out meat all together. Or someone might realize there body hold onto bread to much.  Everyone is different and you should figure out wich diet senarios work for you. The main idea is calories in vs calories out. For that you can use a calorie calculator.  All of the in between is upto you to customize.
  9. Love yourself- Fat to thin doesnt mean rainbows and roses.  We dont get the perfect life when we get skinny. life is still life. If you dont love yourself now. then you wont love yourself when you get to goal either. So start working on yourself now.  If you need therapy go. I do I find it the best way to work on your innerself. others may feel yoga or meditation is the best way. Its all up to you. Just love you for you!
  10. Commit- I want to lose weight. I dream of losing weight. I think about how to do it. I have the perfect thoughts of the exact way i will do it. Then do it and stick to it! Start you new plan and life today!  Commit and stay committed. There will be highs and lows dont quit in either. Set your mind on it and make it happen!
Let me know what else you think would help others to stick to it?

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

The fear of losing the weight...

Keep the cupcake? Or lose it?

weigh in 217.5
2 days non smoker

       So this morning I weighed myself. I couldnt take it I felt like I was hiding from myself and not facing the fact that I had cheated. Its quite riciculous the way my mind thinks alot. Wich led me to read an article about the fear of losing the weight.  It is said that the fear is what causes much of our reoccuring cycles of success/failure then success then failure. The whole yoyo dieting may come from this as well.  There are so many reasons we can fear losing our weight.

  • Some of us have never been thin- so we may have fear of the unknown
  • We might have a fear of doors opening to new opertunities?
  • We could possibly have a fear of having to work harder with no excuses?
  • We might have a low self esteem?
  • We might have gone through some severe childhood psychological trauma?
  • We wont have our fat as a safety blanket/barrier?
  • We wont have our fat to defend us and our excuses?
  • Do we deserve to be skinny?
  • What if Im still unhappy after I lose the weight?
  • Losing weight means raising your expectations and means a chance for failure.
  • Getting comfortable at the weightloss you have acheived since the beginning.
  • Making the decision to lose weight may also mean making other hard decisions. 

        I have personally been going from 216-219 for the last 7 weeks! why?  Well I think its a combination of all these.  I cant remember ever being happy with my body. I have had moments of wow this looks good because its hiding all the right places, but Ive never truly thought I looked great in something. I have used my weight in so many cases to sabotage myself from new oppurtunities.  Its an excuse to hold myself back.  I have used my weight as an excuse so many times. I cant even count. I know I have had times where i thoght maybe im not able to do soemthing then I decide i cant because of my weight.  I have moments of high and low self esteem. I seem to be able to empower others but not my self.  So why do I deserve this? My fat and my weight is definetly a safety blanket of comfort in so many ways! Its all I have known all I can remember. I can remember pictures of a skinny little girl but i cant remember ever actually being skinny. i have always thought i was fat. I can remember from the beginning of my memory me as fat.  Me getting told thats enough dont eat anymore. Or Jessica are you really hungry? Honey dont you think you have had enough? Everyone says I was the good one.  Sure I was rebelled with food not with much else.  My sister is beautiful skinny and perfect. Im not perfect how do I deserve to be this way?  Why do I even deserve to be skinny and healthy?  I have some crazy insecurities and sadnesses. What if when I lose the weight everything wont be perfect like I imagine it.   When i look into the future at the "Skinny Jessica" (this may sound stupid) I see paradise. A perfect life no problems, no worries.   Consciously I know this is B.S. and impossible. Of course i will still have problems and a normal life. But "skinny" is a dream for me and my "dream" is perfect. "The grass is always greener on the other side."
Whats the reality and the truth?

The truth and reality is simple! Keep your eyes on the prize and be realistic.  Rome wasnt built in a day. I have underlying insecurities and problems. Those arent going to go away overnight either. What are ways we can improve on ourselves inside and out? Well for me I have been going to therapy. Its not for crazy people only.  Its for everyone really.  In therapy I cleanse and work myself out on the inside.  In eating right and working out I cleanse myself outside and lose weight. Another thing you must do is face it. Im afraid of getting to 199 im afraid of being some one ive never known.  I have to look at it though. I will still be me just thinner.  I also think that my weight determines meating genuine vs. judging people.  Since Im fat if they like me obviously there a good person and not judgemental and they'd be a good friend. HAHA! not true rude and messed up people like fat people to. All in all I have to realise that change is good. Nothing stays the same so why not make it the change I want?
Today I am aware of my fear and I am willing to make the change. I hope that I am reminded constantly of my shortcomings so that I may improve myself.


As for me today I make my PROCLAMATIONS TO MYSELF:


Whats your proclamtion to yourself?

Sweet Treats Princess: Mini tier cake!

Sweet Treats Princess: Mini tier cake!: Mini Tier Cake Pans I made a cute little mini tier cake for my BF on his birthday! It wasnt difficult at all. I ordered the kit online ...

What a cute little cake right?

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Healthy BMI.

Measuring BMI
weighed in 217.5
smoked last night but stayed on plan
        So last night I ended up smoking but, I stayed on plan food wise.  Ive noticed I am feeling kind of bored in a way with my plan and falling off alot.  So I have decided to make some new goals. These goals are out in the distance but I can reach out for the first one and it just gives me more to look forward to. So my new goals are for overweight and then healthy BMi's.  29.9 or above is considered obese. 29.8-25 is considered overweight. Then 24-18 is considered a healthy BMI.  Right now I am at a BMI of 34.  So as I already knew I am obese.

My overweight BMI at 29.8 is: 190lbs
My healthy BMI at 24 is: 153lbs
My goal BMI of 21.9 is: 140lbs
BMI Pincher

Take a look at my Goals List if you'd like some ideas on goals to set for your self.
Here is a great BMI Calculator.

Digital BMI Measurement Device

BMI-(Body Mass Index) is a measure of your body fat based on height and weight. It is most definelty an average amount when done digitally on the calculator. The most accurate results would be through a BMI pincher. The second most accurate is computerized digital hand measuring device. The least accurate is an average through an online BMI Claculator. 

Why is your BMI so important though?

 Well the more fat you have on your body the more prone to getting diseases you are. Your risk goes up with every extra pound of weight.  You risk getting so many diseases: Heart disease, High blood pressure, diabetes, coronery artery disease, and many more.  When researching there are so many risks with being overweight. In my family i have seen those careless risks becoming a reality.  These are real illnesses that could happen to us. We like to think, "it couldnt happen to me" but it can and will.  Lets keep it up and keep spiraling down to a smaller, happier, and healthier you. 

Have a wonderful day! Let me know your thoughts? 

Monday, November 14, 2011

Falling off the wagon...

didnt weigh in
1 day nonsmoker

         So I saw my BF this weekend and once again The weekend brought on vacation fever. Friday we went out to eat late at night and had Pho. Saturday I stayed within my calories.  Sunday I over ate like no ones bussiness!  I ate at Sizzlers for lunch all you can eat buffet. Ive decided no more buffets. Then my sister took me to a delicous French restauraunt. Although I only ate twice on staurday. Im pretty positive I ate at least 2800 cals if not more. That buffet killed me! I stuffed myself and then felt sick and horrible after. It wasnt healthy food either so i felt literally sick and sluggish. My BF also felt sick hes been eating really well to and we both felt like crap from eating unhealthy food. Not happening again.
       For the last 7weeks I have been teitering at 216-219. Why am I doing this to myself? Yes I know Im doing it to myself. Its not plateu or anything like that. Its me. I get to 215 or 216 and I go off plan. I dont really understand why. I know that when I get there I finally feel great Im back there. Then Im back to 219.  This is definetly yoyoing. I dont want it to get out of control. so I have a new goal. Raw food diet will have to be put off for a little while. I have to rewrap my head around calorie counting. My goal is to go 7full days on plan. No matter what!  Starting to day. I will not be weighing in till Friday. Lord give me strength.

day 1 of 7day challenge.
On Plan-Counting Calories

Friday, November 11, 2011

Today and Tomorrow

weigh in 215.8!
5 days nonsmoker!

A wonderful quote from my little sister, "Not today but maybe tomorrow."  This is how I have been pushing myself to stay on plan. These little trick phrases to trick my mind into beleiving them. Really Im not lying to myself just not looking at the whole truth.  Ok confused? Let me explain. My sister gave me some advice about staying on plan and quiting smoking at the same time. She said, "Not today but maybe tomorrow."  So when I get that crazy craving to have a cigarette. I simply tell myself, "Im not having a cigarette today but who knows maybe I will have one tomorrow."  Then tomorrow never comes. Today is always with us. Tomorrow is always ahead of us and I just keep saying it and take it one day at a time. Same thing when I see a sweet or when I am craving something that is not allotted into my plan. Ill tell myself, "I wont be eating that today but maybe tomorrow I will."  Then I wont. The craving will be gone long before then. : )  The baby steps of taking life "one day at a time" and "Easy does it." So in this case why not put off what you could do today for tomorrow? Well I dont mind if I do!

Have a wonderful weekend all!

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

A day for success!

weigh in 216.8

day 3 nonsmoker

        My efforts are being answered. I have gone back to the basics of sticking to my calories and staying on plan. all meat and animal byproducts will be gone starting monday. This will commence my step two of my baby steps. today is wed. started on monday at 217.6 and today at 216.8 almost a pound down in 3 days woo hoo! By the grace of God I have stuck to plan. : ) I dont mean to gloat, well not completly. I must say though my successes must be acknowledged as well. Today I am feeling great and successful because It feels good when the work pays off and I remember to keep giving it my all.  I have been following what I preech. Not only have I been talking the talk but Ive been walking the walk. : ) I just have to remember to do it and that I can do it.

        In most cases thats how many of us are. We know how to do something. We know where to go to accomplish it. We know what we must do. So why then, dont we do it? Most the time its because its simple.  I have learned from AA. Im an Al-Anon member but I love going to AA meetings. The Twelve steps are an amazing life changing program.  The core of this program is to walk the walk before you even talk the talk.  I was speaking with someone in there about how the simplest things are the hardest to accomplish. Why is that?  We were talking and laughing about it.  This person "left unnamed", felt it was because she was an addict/alcholic. Ive been thinking and plan on telling her next time I see her. Its not that at all! We all do it!  We do it in everything we do. None of us want failure. So we avoid it.  The only problem with that is by avoiding failure be become failure and avoid accomplishment.  We make it seem unattainable and keep backing away till it is. Our brains make it so difficult.  Then on the other hand we fight to get the unattainable the things that people tell us we cant have!  When we give ourselves an unbearable goal that we have to break our backs to get, we'll do it.  Only, when asked to do a simple task like, "dont over eat" or "eat more veggies".  Why dont we? 
                  Many a time the human brain makes things much hard than they are. When we receive a simple task that we cant make difficult in our minds. We decide it cant possibly be true and helpful.  So we bypass. "Oh well I cant do it."  It cant possibly be that easy?  Only, it is!  So one thing my therapist tells me to do is to literally coach myself and talk to myself. When Im craving a cigarette. Its so simple, dont have one.  Well I get anxiety thinking I cant possibly do this I need one! So I talk to myself and coax myself out of it.  "your not going to die with out it.  you will be ok. Breathe your living your fine!" I repeat phrases like this to myself outloud.  Although this may seem Psychotic, it works!  Same goes with food. When Im eating something delicous but dont want to stop. I repeat to myself like, "Are you tasting or wasting?  Are you overeating or are you still hungry? " There are many times where 30-40minutes after a meal I am suddenly starving to death! I have to talk myself down jsut like with the cigarettes. I will tell myself, "Remember we just had a full meal 30 minutes ago.  We cant be hungry we just ate? Stop whining your full and being greedy."  These things sound so weird but they truly work. They help you to work out the simple steps and allow your brain to process the positive reinforcemtn of yourself confirming that you can make it through.  Try it the next time you going into an uncomfortable situation, or tackling an obstacle in your life. Talk to yourself and coach yourself. : )

Let me know what you thought of the article. Also if anyone has any requests for what you would like for me to write.  Your requests are always welcomed! Thank you!

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Calorie Counting

Morning all!
weigh in 217.2
day 2 nonsmoker

Goodmorning. I start my day off with a pumpkin spice latte and breakfast sandwich. I ate meat this morning because i forgot about  not eating meat. I know right? What kind of excuse is that? Really it just makes it worse ya know? Saying I must not care that much about my plan. Well I do and Im not eating meat again for a while. Next week I will still be cutting out animal byproducts other than dairy. Then the week after dairy will be last. Lastly that will start my 30days of Raw Foods. All done in Baby Steps. : )

        This morning I noticed alot of questions about calories. How do you know it works? How do you know how many you should have?  What is to high? What is to low and why?  Why should I chose calorie counting.  So many questions we could all think of. Well lets start answering them.
        How do you know it works? Well personally I have lost 38lbs so far through calorie counting and moderate excercize and I havent excercized in two months and im still losing.  cant trust me? Do your research. Check out some trusted sites. Like,,, or It couldnt hurt to do some research?
           Now how do we know how many calories we should be eating?  It goes by your height, age, and weight.  There is a huge mathematical problem that you could look up but that would just be annoying to me. lol So lets go check out a calorie calculator- after you have calculated your calories. Notice that under 1200 cals for a female and under 1400 cals for a male is unhealthy. It is not good for you and should not be that low. If the calorie  calculator show you should eat only the lowest amount healthy for your body.  Then I suggest that you up it by 200cals and erase those extra cals through excercize. 
          Why does it matter if your to low or high in your calories? Well it is suggested that you shouldnt be under 1000 cal deficit. Your body will hold weight longer and eat muscle not only your fat. When you are portraying higher than normal rapid weightloss it is unhealthy and  a shock to your body and you could hurt yourself more than to help it. A deficit is the negative amount of calories in your diet. for example I eat 1600 cals a day and my deficit is 900 cals. If i was maintaing today at my weight i would be eating at 2600cals.  So right now im under by 1000 to lose weight.  By keeping my deficit at under 1000 then I am healthil burning more fat.  I can burn more calories through excercize but Im insuring I receive my nutrients.
         Why should you chose calorie counting? I think everyones reasoning is different yet close to the same reason I chose it. I love food. Thats how I got here. : ) Its no secret food is delicous. I dont do very good when I am told I cant have something all together. When i get cut off from something it makes me almost ravenous. So I know that as long as its in my budget i can have it. If i chose to have pizza one day then i know thats the bulk of my food for the day. Its all about budgeting and im good at that. Figure out your reasoning and you will go far. : )

Good Luck!

Monday, November 7, 2011

weightloss baby steps...

weigh in 217.6
day 1 nonsmoker (again)

          So this weekend I stayed within my calorie amount. Although I fell of the wagon of raw foods.  I feel so good when only eating raw foods. Unfortunately though i crave meats and dairy like crazy! I had fish, pepperoni, and lots of cheese this weekend. So I realize I really do want to go 30 days on a raw diet cleanse but I think I need to take some of my own past advice. Im gonna put my money where my mouth is and take some of my preaching and words.  Baby Steps, lol I wrote a huge article on Baby Steps.  It was all about how taking one small step at a time can make a huge difference in the end. So today I am letting go of meat and next monday i will let go of something else and soon i will be on a raw diet.  This will be tough but absolutely simple. I need to remember to remember all of the tools I have learned and use to use them.  Here is my article for Baby Steps in my previous article.

The point is BABY STEPS! Take baby steps. For me it is the easiest way to succeed.  My whole life I have struggled with my weight. Why should I try to be the best version of me overnight? well I know I cant.  I started with limiting. I limited my calories to what is healthy for me to lose 2lbs. a week.  then slowly i realised well shoot 1974 cals can be one meal at MC D's!!  So i began to take baby steps towards fruits and veggies.  Seeing as they are very high in nutrients and very low in calories. I thought, this is great. I could have 1 bigmac and fries or i could stuff myself with fruits and veggies and then when i get hungry again i can do it again and maybe one more time. Then i realized that as i lost weight my calories decreased. UH OH! so you mean i cant keep eating 1974 cals? My next baby step was portion control and the blah of only fruits and veggies. I looked for variety. I made good memories and associations to these foods. So far in the four months of my journey I have taken so many tiny little steps in my life i cant even truly count!  Everytime i try to take a leap. I fall back a bit more.  Then I retrace and pick up where I left off. Only to take one more tiny Baby Step.
         My weightloss buddy is this way as well. So my final thought. BABY STEPS really do work. : )
So if your not quite ready for excercize or the next step its ok do it when your ready. That doesnt mean never start either. That was my problem for a while. What i mean is easy does it. If you dont feel like your ready but you want to start somewhere. Then make 1 small change everyday.  Ill give some examples of a few steps that i have had  to practice with. (i wish this was the order they came in as it looks so easy. lol its challenging but worth it and the new step that you know you need doesnt come over night either) Defintel do not do not move onto another step till you have it under control either.    
A few example steps:
1. Whats my calorie alottment?
2.  Learn to stick to my calorie alottment.
3.  Find delicous low calorie snacks and meals I love. (this one never ends)
4. Eat for a benefit. Not for only taste. (still need a yummy taste though)
5. Learn how to stick to plan even while on vacation.
6. Learn how to stick to plan even when life gets a bit down.
7. realise why i over eat! what are my triggers?
8. No more candy till goal except gum.
There are a plethora of steps and different triggers I have delt with.  One of the hardest triggers for me is vacations, and holidays. i.e. : friends bday nom nom nom. lots of food.  but the foods not for me. : ( well no not exactly. if i stay strong i can have a bit and then bring a veggie platter and eat mostly that. : ) different things like this give tools to success. Control what your able to and all you can control is yourself. This is a proccess and we are all learning and growing from it.

In closing thank you all for your comments! Your kind word and your critiques. They are a source of joy for me. As always thank you and I appreciate you all!